The key reason confidence is so powerful and magnetic is simple, confident people ask for what they want. Whether it is advice, a sale or a date, confident people ask others for what they want. They ask for what they want out of the world and they ask for what they want out of themselves. Surprisingly much of achieving goals is simply building up the courage to ask for them.
You need to ask because:
- Asking for what you want, gets you what you want.
- You need to ask to be able to serve.
The first answer may seem obvious. When you ask for what you want you can receive what you want. But the second answer may have surprised you. How does asking for what you want increase your capacity to serve?
Service Through Growth
The reason asking helps you serve is because asking is critical to growth. When you don’t ask for what you want, you can’t improve the value you are offering. And unless you are an extremely rare individual that already comes with tremendous value, your real ability to serve doesn’t lie in your current talents. Your ability to serve comes from improving the value you offer.
The first articles I wrote before I started this website were pretty lousy. My writing style was poor and it didn’t really capture the essence of what I wanted to say. But do you think that if I had just kept the articles to myself, if I didn’t ask people to read them, I would have improved? Hardly. It took the sometimes harsh evaluations of others to improve my writing and provide value today.
Growth works in a cycle. You create value, you ask for what you want and where you get rejected you modify your approach. This applies whether your entire intent is self-interest or service. Create value. Ask. Use rejection and success to improve.